Since I’m alone in India, I can’t help but reflect about the meaning of it all. For those who I think are sincere in their search for understanding, me included; who plunge into the depths of trying to be more than they thought possible; to find yourself in those throes of “aloneness,” can be terrifying. But every indication is that it’ll be incredible. It probably is the meaning of faith and the act of having faith. Trust that you will find what your heart longs for. Trust that love will take you into its bosom and never separate from you again. Trust that your words will be a faithful representation of who you truly are. Many of talked about it, now it is for you to discover it for yourself.
Is this not the true romantic feeling; not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping you.
The hardest thing in the world is to be alone. You can fall out of love, be hurt in some way, face sickness or some other unhappiness that life puts in front of you, but to feel that you are all alone in this world is as if the walls are closing in on you. It can be a very oppressive feeling. Krishnamurti talks about loneliness as not feeling apart from the world at large but intimately in connection with the self of the individual. It is not trying to avoid the sense of isolation but instead to be able to observe the silence of our inner being. He goes on to say that only when the mind doesn’t desire to escape its feeling of “aloneness,” can we become completely free for our freedom depends upon no one else. I am free because I have understood the uniqueness of my soul. To reach these high ideals he says there must be affection; you have to love yourself. You have to love what you’re going through.
Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.
Dag Hammarskjold (former Secretary General of the United Nations)
Yogi Bhajan once talked about the life of a teacher as being the loneliest of professions. He said that if you are a teacher, you are always a teacher in every circumstance of life so therefore you are naturally apart from everyone else since everyone else is your student. I think, at least, that is how he lived his life. Yet for all his wisdom and my own lack of understanding as to what he meant, I wonder if we don’t really want to talk about union or feeling close to everyone we have in our life, instead of feeling distinct and separated from the world.
My own thinking, at least at this stage of my life, is more aligned with the idea espoused by Erich Fromm when he said that with the realization of the self, man unites himself in stronger ways with the world – with his fellow man, nature and himself. He says that love is the key – fundamental – to be able to gain this understanding.
Are we capable of penetrating our inner world? Can we understand the feelings we have, the thoughts that define who we are as human beings and our individual struggle to make sense of our life? Realization as Fromm talks about must be about total understanding of our predicament as individuals, that is the confusion about what life means and therefore what is really important to us, and then somehow reconciling ourselves with that reality. It must be about reaching that place where you are completely at peace with who you are. And in that place only love can exist.
Meditation demands an astonishing alert mind; it is the understanding of the totality of life in which every form of fragmentation has ceased.
If you want to find something new about yourself, to become what the heart has always desired, you submit. You submit to the process of transformation. You decide not to be afraid of what may come out of the subconscious or the part of you that most of the time you choose not to see. You give yourself to the practice of yoga, meditation or any discipline that will unlock the doors of your own understanding. You sit and contemplate who you are. You embark on a path of knowing, a path of trying to know the unknown in you. It takes courage to do so.
A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
So you ask the question, do you want to be incapable of exhibiting love towards yourself? Perhaps it’s not an easy question to ask. Every fiber of my being says no. My heart says to the rest of me, I am a part of you and I represent love. Yet why is it that so many of us choose to look the other way and not love ourselves? We talk of love in terms of a connection that we might have with someone else. We talk of it as something completely desirable and yet it is an elusive quest for most everyone. Everything valuable in society hinges around achieving the goal of love. Yet rarely does someone tell you that you have to find it within yourself.
My search for love is the desire to be held within the arms of life, enveloping me, letting me feel safe, letting me know I am loved. Like having a lover, I surrender to her my negative mind, my doubts and my hopes for the future. Free of debilitating thoughts, I can accept you and I can love you.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I am convinced we are here on this planet Earth to reach the state of Anand. Anand literally means bliss or that ecstatic union with the underlying consciousness of everything we see before us. As hard as it might seem, it becomes an individual and intimate understanding. The only way we can start to see that experience becoming real for us is when we manifest that idea in our relationship with someone else. Our relationships must imbibe the same divine consciousness that we reserve for the infinite in our imagination. All learning here on Earth must be about knowing this. The very nature of that goal is to go beyond our own pettiness, our resentment and our feeling of being wronged when life asks us to consider other possibilities. It is learning to listen and being able to understand the struggles of others. It is about having a godly-like patience and an infinite capacity to tolerate whatever life gives us. We remember that we are always learning, open to see and open to accept what we couldn’t before.
Only as high as I reach can I grow
Only as far as I seek can I go
Only as deep as I look can I see
Only as much as I dream can I be
I know it is a huge leap of consciousness to think that Love and Loneliness might be the same thing. To feel in the solitude of your soul what love is and what it can be. As Krishnamurti said, it is going to the root of all things and finding love residing there. It can only happen when all of your senses are attuned to that desire. You know what you want and nothing can dissuade you from reaching the destination. Aloneness replaces loneliness as we know it and signifies to be within the confines of the heart’s castle. It is a singular sensation and depends on nothing else experienced in life. It is for the true seeker of love.