At the age of 25, when I came from Caracas to live in Barcelona, I was already a successful Graphic Designer with experience running two businesses as an entrepreneur, having worked as a freelance, and in an advertising agency. I came to Spain recently after marrying Pedro, my dear companion, with dreams about freedom and two student visas that didn’t give us many options to find good jobs. With love and an unshakeable determination, we walked those first years; we forbid ourselves from even mentioning what we refer to as the “D” word “devolvernos” (to go back). We were determined to have a life we love in Europe, a life where we could walk freely in the streets during the night without being scared.
A month after we arrived, we got jobs in a printing agency, yes we have been working together since then. Those jobs paid the rent but were jobs that we hated; I was crying every night after going home. A year later we received our working visas, we were free to pursue our dreams. So we resigned. I found a “great” job in a cool design agency in Barcelona. I used to bike to work through one of the most beautiful streets in the city to enter in a beautifully designed space, had a good salary, but… the inner whispers claiming for peace were getting louder and louder.
I felt that perpetual tiredness, one that wasn’t from requiring rest, but from requiring peace. By then my yoga practice was steady. I used to work super fast the whole day to be able to almost run down through Passeig de Gracia to arrive to the last yoga class at 20:30h. I clearly remember that sensation of arriving to the yoga shala and time stoping. There was no rush anymore, no confusion, I was at peace. And I wanted more.
So I began to dig dipper, to carve time to do more and more yoga, waking up earlier to go to Sadhana before work, and a few months after I started the teacher training. Oh, I loved those weekends! I remember looking at my teachers and with my entrepreneurial mode ON thinking to myself, I want this to be my life!
Looking back I have to recognize that my inner self was craving for peace, at the moment it felt like whispers, but she was screaming! It showed in so many ways! Headaches, lower back pain, stress in different forms, the need for complaining, you name it! Yoga guided me through that process, allowing and giving myself time to begin to listen to those inner screams for peace! It got so loud that I had no option but to listen, and I’m happy I did! My soul was claiming for clarity, for a life aligned with my purpose in life, with my values. It required courage and determination because I built strong walls and it was not easy to make the decisions I had to make, to trust, to open myself to new possibilities.
We tend to accommodate in so many “shoulds” and get down by so many negative “what ifs”. But what if you listen, what if you change your life’s perspective and finally find that peace, that inner love, that inspiration your soul is craving for? What if everything turns out to be amazing and you feel great when you begin to listen to yourself?
I look at us as a society and we are normally sleeping, following, not thinking, and trying not to feel, not to see, not to do what it takes to make the change we know we have to make. It may be a corporate or a spiritual bypass, for me it’s the same. We have to stand up, again and again, look inside, train ourselves to listen to the discomfort, to listen to the whispers, to give ourselves space to live the experiences we are living. We are hungry for love and attention and we have the responsibility to feed ourselves with those spaces of peace, because yes you affect me, I affect you and we affect the world. So let’s do it in a good way! Don’t get used to a life you don’t want, to a job you don’t enjoy, to a relationship that doesn’t bring you joy! Find the love, find the courage, and transform it! You deserve it! And the world deserves to have your best self, sharing your unique message, your unique beauty with all of us, so let’s do it!